Penumbra
by wutaistars
Summary: In which Tonks realizes that 'bonded for life' is bittersweet.


**Written for Lavender Flame's Angst-Fluff Juxtaposition Competition at HPFC.**

* * *

It was a silver band with no stones, or engravings, or intricate metalwork; a plain ring picked out posthaste. She brought it up to the light. The windows in this room had lace curtains, and her eyes slid to the patterns dancing on her arm.

_Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today—_

Her husband was downstairs, washing the last of the wine glasses. She wanted to tidy the place up, but he insisted on doing it, so she settled for unpacking.

—_to witness the union—_

Anyway, there wasn't much. Her entire life could fit in a trunk. She'd been a tiny person with few needs, even as a child, and she grew loud to make up for the smallness. Though it took her just an hour to pack her things for the move, she still felt odd sleeping in her flat that night, with the bare walls and the empty closets.

—_of two faithful souls—_

"Dora?"

She looked up with a start. Remus was at the doorway of their bedroom, a wary look on his face. "Are you alright?" he said, walking to where she was standing.

"Hiya, silly man," she said, squeezing his arms. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She turned to the windows and pushed the drapes aside, staring at the patch of grass and wildflowers, and the forest to which their back gate led. The table they borrowed from Molly and Arthur was still out there, although it'd been cleared of plates and cutlery. They have to return it soon. And send thank-you notes to everyone—her parents, the Weasleys, Alastor, Kingsley—

She felt Remus behind her, hands circling her waist. She caught his scent (clean, like fresh sheets) when he dipped his head and planted little kisses on her jaw. It made her smile.

"What are you thinking of," he murmured in her ear.

_Do you, Nymphadora—_

"Keep doing that," she murmured, lids shuttering over her eyes, "and I'll be thinking of one thing only." He laughed against her nape.

—_take Remus John—_

And then, he just stopped. She turned, ready with a quip about old age, but held it when she saw his eyes. He took a few steps back and sat on the bed, face lined with anxiety.

"Remus?" she said, brushing graying hair away from his forehead.

"I'm thinking of many things," he said with a rueful smile. "You, mostly. The potions…you at the Ministry…work for the Order…guess we'll make it up as we go along, won't we?"

"That's half the fun," she said, nuzzling his nose. "We'll be in on it together."

She moved in with a kiss. It was slow at first, even leisurely. But he surprised her with a surge of enthusiasm, and she found herself responding. Soon, everything else faded, and they were just mouths, and breath, and skin.

"The other half is?" he asked when they broke off.

"Take a wild guess," she whispered, a glint in her eye.

"I have a few good ones, love," he said, chuckling.

* * *

"_I'm pregnant."_

_She watched the bowl sail through the dining room and smash into a dozen pieces. The wall was stained brown with stew where the bowl hit it, and she turned to her husband incredulously._

"_What was that all about? Emmeline will have a fit when she visits; you know how she's like with matching bowls and plates."_

"_I'm sorry. I think I misheard you," he said quietly. "Did you say you were pregnant?"_

"_Yes! Isn't it great?"_

_He wiped his mouth with a napkin, and she waited for his reply. Instead, he stood up, collected his coat, and exited through the kitchen door. Tonks remained seated, pushing carrots around her plate._

He came back hours later. She was sitting in front of the fireplace, reading the latest monthly report from the Ministry, when she heard the kitchen door creak open.

"Hullo," she said when he reached the front of the house. He nodded and shrugged his coat off, flinging it onto one of the armchairs. She slowly turned a page.

"I know a doctor," he began slowly, which made her look up. This is probably why. He worried that St. Mungo's won't accept them because of him, and thought that Muggle Healers might be their only choice. She nodded to indicate she's listening.

"I know a doctor. Very discreet. He can terminate the pregnancy, and it won't cost a lot."

"Are you out of your mind? I won't do something like that! Why would you even think that way?"

"It's a danger to you. Who knows what'll happen to you? It might manifest—tendencies—inside the womb, and I can't stand for you suffering or worse because of it."

"And I won't stand for you killing _our _baby. _Our _baby will be raised by two loving parents, alright?"

"That is not a child!" Remus was now standing up, his face livid, and for a moment she saw the wolf flicker across his face. "It's a monster! People like me don't have children for a reason. This thing will be an outcast like its father. Spare it from the wretchedness, kill it now."

She stood up abruptly and rushed upstairs. He found her in the bedroom, gathering her things. She flicked her wand angrily and sent several compacts clattering into her trunk. When she saw him, he thought she'd stop, but she only turned and waved at her Ministry uniforms.

"Where are you going?" he said wearily. He watched her stuff the last of her things in the trunk before facing him.

"If you can't love my daughter or son, I see no sense in staying around."

Remus grabbed her wrist. "Don't do this to me, Dora. Please." She wrenched her hand free and levitated the trunk out of the room, ignoring his pleas, which turned into shouts as she opened the front door.

She turned to him. "Come for us when you can. We'll be at my parents'," she said softly, closing the door with a definite click.

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**Love it? Hate it? Tell me why-comments are appreciated! :)**


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